Guest Post By Mike McLeish

I got into hiking to be alone, get away from a hectic, often overbearing world, and to find a little “me” time. It’s funny how things turn out. Now, I mainly go hiking with friends. I used to wander for hours, lost in thoughts or catching up on my favorite podcasts. I loved hiking so much that I even started an entire blog about it, Hikerhero.

Now I go hiking with friends. I actively look for multiday hiking trails that I know will be able to sell easily to friends. Why the change of heart? Well, because it turns out the trail has a magic way of making friendships deeper and more meaningful.

If you don’t believe me, read on, and I will tell you why your next date with your mates shouldn’t be at the pub but on the trail.

Hiking is Hard

There are a lot of sayings out there about companionship. “A problem shared is a problem halved” is one. “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow,” is another.

They are corny as hell, but they are so very true. But what has that got to do with going for a hike?

Well, multiday hiking is often pretty hard. It usually falls into the category of type 2 fun. It can be strenuous, but afterward, you’re flooded with that lovely warm “I achieved something” feeling.

“Being in a new place doing something out of the ordinary means you are free to talk about new, non-ordinary things. Like feelings, past failures, and future dreams. The stuff that really matters.”

— Mike McLeish

But with a friend by your side, you get to have your cake and eat it, too. It’s fun now, and you still get that post-hike sense of accomplishment.

Hiking with Friends is Less Hard

I’ll give you a recent example of how hiking with friends can improve your hikes. I was recently on a three-day hike with my friend Luke. Midway into the second day, the heavens opened (as they often do during the Great British summer), and the fields we were hiking through turned into a quagmire.

Imagine the photos you saw from the washed-out Burning Man recently, and you will have an idea.

The mud was so deep that it literally sucked the hiking boots off our feet more than once. Now, on my own, this would’ve been a horrible experience. I would’ve been a lonely man flopping around in a pile of cold mud getting rained on.

But with a friend, it was hysterical - we laughed so much it hurt. We had proper belly laughs like those you only get as kids. Looking back, this was the highlight of the entire trip.

Related Post: Hiking Tips for Beginners

Hiking Opens Hearts

Okay, so my first point wasn’t the most original. Of course, things are more fun with friends, including hiking with friends. Duh!

Maybe this one is something you haven’t considered as much. Hiking helps us share our feelings.

I’m a man, and I admit it - a big, hairy man. Talking about worries, anxieties, or, ugh, emotions isn’t something I typically do with my other male friends.

That was until I started going on long-distance hikes with buddies. I found I was discovering and sharing things that we’d never discussed despite years of friendship.

The first time it happened, I thought maybe it was just that we covered so many other topics that we had nothing left to talk about but feelings. But to be honest, it happened so early in the hike that I’m certain this wasn’t the case.

Then, on my next long-distance hike, this time with a different friend, the same thing happened again. Within an hour, we were chatting on a deeper level than a hundred post-work catch-up sessions at the bar would have reached.

So what’s going on?! I have a few theories. None of which are science-backed.

Hiking Tricks the Male Brain

Men typically bond together over an activity. That activity is usually a sport. Whether it’s watching it or playing it. I’ve loads of buddies I’ve made from playing five-a-side football. I will meet these same friends in the pub when a big game is on.

This is great. I’d consider them close friends. But there is always a focus that isn’t on us. We are either doing an activity or watching an activity. This activity, whatever it may be, is the focus.

Hiking is different. Sure, it is an activity, but it doesn’t require your entire focus. It’s just walking, after all, and most people can handle that while still engaging their brains elsewhere.

I have a theory that hiking tricks the male brain. We think we are going to do something physical, an activity, so that’s fine. Sure, nothing to worry about. But in fact, a hike with friends is just one very long conversation.

The Trail is Magic

You might be thinking, “But I meet my friends for conversations all the time.” Well, that’s where my second theory comes into play: The trail itself is magic.

When you hike, you typically walk side by side or on narrow trails. Sometimes, you will be striding along in single file. I have a hypothesis backed up by no science whatsoever that men, in particular, find it easier to get deep and meaningful when we aren’t looking at each other.

If you’re at the pub or bar or out for a meal with a buddy, you would typically sit face to face. Which is great for making fun of each other’s new haircuts or (failed) attempts at growing a beard. But it’s not so great for opening up and sharing deep and meaningful thoughts.

The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, believed that his patients opened up when he was out of their direct sight. It allowed the mind “free association.”

There may be something similar going on here. Maybe? I think so.

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

My final unprovable theory has to do with comfort zones. When I meet my buddies, I often meet them at the same pub or bar we’ve been meeting for years. We like the ambiance and the beer, plus they know our names. It’s all very familiar. This is great for a quick post-work pint but not so for delving into unexplored feelings.

Going for a hike is very different. When hiking with friends, you’re in a constantly changing environment, and being out in the hills or deep in the forest isn’t most people’s typical comfort zone. I think this change of setting has a profound impact on the topics available for conversation.

Being in a new place doing something out of the ordinary means you are free to talk about new, non-ordinary things. Like feelings, past failures, and future dreams. The stuff that really matters.

Final Thoughts

So there you have it, a few good reasons why the next time you are planning a catch-up session with your buddies, you should forget about the bar and get hiking boots out instead.

Like I said, these are just theories. I can’t prove any of them.

But what have you got to lose? You can always head to the bar after the hike. This way, you will have earned that beer too!

Hi there, I’m Mike McLeish. Head hiker at HikerHero.com HQ. Also, chief boot cleaner and director of coffee making. To be honest, I do all the jobs. It’s just me. I hike and then write about it to inspire others to get out there and enjoy our glorious world.

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